Lost
by starbright
Summary: [Completed] Are Carter and Abby going to find happiness now? Read and find out!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own ER

Author's Note: This take place before The Letter

Lost

An ER Fanfiction

Chapter 1

Abby looked at the bottle of beer right in front of her. It was the last beer she had in the fridge. She knows she shouldn't be drinking it, but that does matter as long as makes the pain go away. When did my life start to go bad that I need to drink again, I have been sober for 4 years. 

I think it all started the day that Paul Sobriki reappeared into our life. I never expected to see him here again, when I went into the room, and saw that it was him I started to get afraid, but not for not for myself, but for Carter. I couldn't believe when Susan wouldn't tie him up, she wasn't here when Paul stabbed Carter and Lucy, so she couldn't  fully understand how dangerous he was. I didn't think Carter could handle seeing that man again, it would just bring all the memories back to him I tried my best to distract John as best as I could, but he then finally saw Paul, and then when he ran off. I want so bad to help him, but I know he need to be alone.

When I got home, my neighbor was sitting on the stairs with two beers in her hands. I know that I shouldn't drink, but I thought it wasn't going to hurt if I drink just one bottle. Then I started to drink more everyday. That night that Brian came in and punched me I was drunk then too, I had just had a glass of wine before Brian come banged into the apartment. I don't think I would have opened the door if I wasn't drunk or at least I wouldn't have opened the door the second time. When Mark Greene left, it hurt me more than I ever imagined. When Mark said good bye to me that night, I thought it was just saying goodbye for the night -  I didn't think I would never see him again. I know that I didn't know Mark as long as Carter and Susan and the rest of the people did, but it still affected me knowing that Mark was dying and there is nothing anybody can do about it. How unfair is that? We spend our whole life trying to save people and we can't even save one person.

"That's better. " I said as I took a sip of  beer. "Now I can forget all about my trouble and worries." 

How much longer can I keep on going like this? Will my life ever be better?

To be continued.

Author 's Note: I know this was short, tell me if you want me to continue or not. Please review it. No Flames please!!!


	2. Chapter 2

                        Lost

Author's Note: What happened in " The Letter doesn't apply here. This is my first ever Abby angst fic, so please tell me if I'm doing badly! The next chapters coming up are better than this!    Let's get on with the story…                                       

Chapter 2                       

I thought my life couldn't get any worse than is right now, but I was wrong. When I heard that Mark was died, I was so upset to think that a great man like him is gone. I knew that he was dying, but I never thought that he would die so soon, I thought he had a couple more months to go. Mark was just a young man, he was only 38 years old, and he had his whole life ahead of him. Why was life so unfair? One thing I learned was that life was too short to take for granted.

Abby then took a sip of her beer. _My friend, thought Abby. Abby knew that when her only other friend found out that she was drinking again, that he would not  want to be friends anymore. The one friend in particular that she has disappointed a lot  " John Carter". Carter has been a great friend since I met him at that night at that AA meeting, at the beginning we were just helping each other through our addiction, well actually I was helping him through his addiction, as at that moment I was sober but I forget all about that because of one lousy day. _

Abby knew that if she ever wanted to be with Carter, which she did then, she had to get her act together, and stop drinking again. She knew that it was going to hard, but she would do anything for Carter.  So she poured the rest of the beer that she was drinking into the sink, and then she went into the refrigerator   and did the same thing with the rest of them. " _Why did I do this, thought Abby, as she watch all the beer she had go down the drain. She knew that she need to go to an AA Meeting before she change her mind, and went and bought more alcohol._

Abby then looked in the Yellow Pages to see where the meeting would take place, and then went to go there. Abby listen to the fellow Alcoholics, talking about their problems. " I don't belong here, I just had a few drinks, it is not like I have drinks every time" thought Abby, but her conscience told her otherwise. Abby was just on the way out when they called on her

" Why are you here?"

Abby turned around, " I can't do this, thought Abby. Abby took a deep breath before speaking. " I have been sober for almost 4 years, but I have been drinking again lately" said Abby with a sad look on her face.

" Really"

" I can't do this, " said Abby, as she stormed out. Abby desperately want a drink right then, but she wasn't going have one.

***

Abby was just about to go to asleep when she heard a noise coming from the door.

" No!" screamed Abby, she then went to check to see who was there, and nobody was there like every night this past months. Every night the same thing has happen, she heard a noise and thought that it is Brian coming to get her. _Every night since the attack, I have wake up in the middle of the night, being afraid of him coming back and hurting me again even when I was living with Luka, thought Abby. She then got out of her bed, and went to fridge to get a beer forgetting that she had got ruined all of them. Abby then start to shake. " I need a drink now. She then dialed her phone._

" Hello" 

" Hi, it's Abby, is there any chance that you could come over?

" Sure, I'm on way," said the voice on the other line.

Abby started to stop shaking when she know that someone was on the way, and she wouldn't need a beer to help her calm herself down.  Abby then heard the doorbell. She checked to see whom it was as she could never be too careful. She then opened the door.

" Carter!" said Abby with a smile. Carter then went and gave her a big hug.

To be continued!!!

Author's note: I have never been to a AAA meeting so I don't know how a meeting goes. No Flames!!!


	3. Chapter 3

                                    **Lost**

                                  **Chapter 3**

"Abby, what is wrong?" asked Carter, who could see that Abby was upset.

"John…." said Abby, who began to cry.  She didn't know why she was crying, but she badly wanted a drink. " _I need that drink to ease my pain, just one drink, thought Abby to herself.  Carter then went over to her and hugged her, and tried to comfort her the best that he could do._

"Abby, what is wrong?" asked Carter for a second time.

Abby was afraid to tell Carter that she had started drinking again, knowing how ashamed he would be of her.  Abby knew that she needed to tell him sometime, and no time was better than now.

"John… I think you need to sit down," said Abby.  Carter went and saw on her sofa.   "You are going to be very ashamed of me."  Abby paced up and down the room.

"Abby, I would never be ashamed of you, please just come and sit down," Carter said gently.

" Fine," Abby replied.  "John, I started to drink again." Abby realized the full extent of what she just said. She saw the look on Carter's face, and knew that he was very disappointed in her. He didn't have to say a word; she could see it in his eyes.  How many times did she say to Carter about his addiction, and one slip could ruin in all but I just did the same thing, thought Abby.

" Oh Abby. I'm not ashamed of you. When did this all start?" asked Carter, who was worried about her.

" Well…" Abby hesitated. She didn't want to bring up the subject of Paul, but she knew she had to.  "It all started on my birthday." Abby then saw that Carter's expression changed the minute that she said that.

" Really," said Carter, who remembered all about Abby's birthday that was the day that Paul reappeared in the ER. Just remembering that day brought Carter back to the day of the attack, when Paul both him and Lucy. I will never forget that day, thought Carter.

"I'm sorry that I bought up my birthday because that was the day that Paul came back into the ER."

"Yeah," said Carter, hearing the name that brought a chill up his spine.

" I'm okay," said Carter, who was more worried about Abby, as she looked like she was going through withdrawal, and he knew how that was.  "So tell me, what happened on your birthday?" 

"Well, I was on the way to my apartment, and my new neighbor was sitting there with two beers in her hand, and she asked if I wanted one," Abby confided.  "I knew I shouldn't have, but I thought that one drink wouldn't hurt.  I was dead wrong about that.   I started to drink more after that day, and after my attack."

"Abby were you drinking when you were attacked?" asked Carter.

"Yeah.  What, are you saying that it's my fault that I got attacked because I was drunk?" challenged Abby.

"No… I would never say that, I was just wondering," Carter answered.  Abby calmed down.

"Sorry John… I didn't mean to snap at you." 

"That's fine," said Carter.  "Why don't I make you a cup of coffee?

"Sure, that would be great," Abby replied softly.

 "I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most.  I wasn't a great friend was I?" asked Carter, who knew he kind of forgot Abby when he started dating Susan.

"John, you are here when I need you the most," said Abby.

"You need to go to an AA meeting tomorrow," Carter stated firmly.

"I already went to one today, and I did it for you, John," said Abby.

"Really?" Carter inquired.

" John, I know that I need help, and I went to a meeting, and I dumped all my beer in the sink so there wouldn't be any temptation," Abby said.   _Like right now, she thought._

"I'd better let you get some rest," said Carter.

"No, please don't leave me, I need you. I'm so scared to go to sleep," Abby pleaded.  She couldn't believe what she just come put of her mouth.   She has never told anybody about how scared she was_.   So why did I just tell Carter? thought Abby._

"I didn't know, " Carter replied.

" How would you know, I didn't tell anybody," said Abby_.  As the beer always helped me through the rough patches when I was scared, __thought Abby._

"Sure, Abby, I'll stay the night.   There is nothing I wouldn't do for you," Carter said with a smile.

"Thanks," said Abby with a yawn.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Carter replied. Abby felt safe knowing that Carter was there, and nobody could hurt her.

 "Goodnight John," Abby said, as Carter went into the living room to sleep on the couch. 

"Night Abby " said Carter as he fell asleep.

***

The next morning,

Abby woke up, feeling so well rested as this was the first time in a long time that she wasn't scared to go to sleep.  It was all because of Carter. Abby then looked in the living room and saw that Carter wasn't on the couch. _Oh he must have left for work, thought Abby.  Then she smelled bacon and eggs.  Abby then got dressed and went and saw that Carter was making her breakfast._

"Good morning Abby" said Carter, as he was cooking the bacon.  "I'm making you some breakfast."

"Oh, I can see that," laughed Abby.  "I didn't know you cooked, I thought you had servants to do that."

"Very funny," Carter replied.  Abby laughed again, then went to taste the bacon.

"Don't touch my bacon," said Carter, who then leaned over and kissed Abby.

"John, not yet!" said Abby, knowing that she needed to get herself together before ever thinking about going into a relationship.

"What?" asked Carter.

To be continued!!!


	4. Chapter 4

                        Chapter 4 

                          Lost

"What?" said Carter, who then realized that he shouldn't have kissed Abby right then.  Then Carter stepped away from Abby and moved closer to the door, unsure what to say to Abby after kissing her and her rejecting him. He knew that he shouldn't have kissed her when she was so vulnerable, but he just couldn't wait any longer. But I guess she isn't over Luka, Carter thought to himself. 

Abby looked up at Carter, and could see the hurt in his eyes, like nothing she has ever seen before, and that was all because of her. "John, don't go," said Abby as Carter was getting ready to leave.

"Why not? I can see that you are not over Luka," Carter said angrily.

" John, this has nothing to do with Luka. This is about me," Abby explained firmly.  " I love you, John. You are the one I want to be with, but I just can't do it right now." Abby  then started to walk away from Carter, so he wouldn't have to see the pain that she was going through by rejecting him when she needed him the most.

"Why not?" asked Carter

"John, I need to get myself together before I even think about having a relationship," replied Abby softly. Carter looks up at Abby.

"Abby, I love you too. I like you the way that you are, you don't need to change one thing about you" said Carter, smiling.

"John, I know you do, but this is more for me to figure out for myself" said Abby.  Her tone changed and she added, "I think it would be best if you just leave."  Before I change my mind thought Abby.

"Fine," said Carter. Abby watched as Carter left her apartment in a huff. Why did I just snap at John, he stayed here all night because I was scared.  Abby was on her way to tell John that she was sorry when she saw that he was already gone.

"Great " Abby mumbled to herself.   When she got back to her place, she could swear that she could smell something burning, and that is when she saw that the bacon was burning.  "Damn it!" Abby screamed as she fell on to the floor crying.

**

Carter drove around the block, as he was still angry about Abby that he didn't want to go to work like this.  Carter could see her voice saying "Not yet" after he kissed her. Did she really mean it when she said that she just need time to get herself together - or was that another way to say that she wants to be with Luka not Carter. Carter was just about arrive at County General, when he saw Abby walk past him. He waited until she was gone before he walked into the hospital.  What am I going to say to her when I see her, thought Carter. 

Carter then got of his jeep, and walked into the ER trying his best to avoid Abby.

Then he saw her short dark brown hair from afar, and quickly moved into the nearest exam room that he could find. Susan who was at the admit desk, saw Carter escaping into the exam room, and wondered why.   She decided to go see what was wrong. Carter heard someone open the door.

"Oh great, just what I need" thought Carter.  He looked up to see his ex-girlfriend looking straight at him.

"John, are you okay?" asked Susan, visibly concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine," nodded Carter.

"John, I know something is wrong," Susan replied firmly.  "It's Abby, isn't it?"

"Yeah" said Carter.  " I kissed her last night."

"So how come you aren't happy about that?" asked Susan.

Carter looked up at Susan. "Well, she said that she needed time to sort herself out before she committed to a relationship with me."

 "Oh," Susan replied. Carter could see that Susan didn't understand the whole picture, so he decided to tell her about Abby's addiction.

" Susan, you have to promise not to tell anyone about what I just told you," said Carter. He knew that Abby didn't want anybody to know.

"Okay," Susan nodded.  "John you must really love her."

"Yeah, I do, and I guess I have you to thank for that. If you hadn't made me realize that I still loved Abby, I don't know if I would have figured it out," Carter said brightly.

"I know you would have," smiled Susan.  Carter then went and hugged Susan. 

"Thanks for being such a great friend," he said.

"No problem. We'll always be friends," Susan said, as Kerry entered the exam room.

"We need you out here," Kerry said.

"We're coming," they both said, as they followed Kerry out of the Exam Room. Abby then  came into the Trauma room to see if they need any help.

"John, can I help you?" asked Abby softly.  Carter then looked out when he heard Abby's voice.

"No, we are fine," said Susan, who could see that Carter wasn't ready to talk to Abby yet. Abby left the room then looked through the glass at Carter, and their eyes met.  There was something different about Carter.  There was sadness in his eyes that weren't there before. I made him like that, Abby thought to herself.

Abby then went and sat outside on the bench. She took out her pack of cigarettes and lit one of them. Why does my life have to suck so much? The guy that I have wanted for so long finally kissed me and what did I say to him?   "Not yet". How could I do that, Abby thought.  

***

Meanwhile inside the ER:

"John, why don't you go after her?" Susan asked.

"Susan, I don't think that would be a good idea," Carter replied.

"Fine, but just remember that Abby needs you more than she has ever before. John just go outside. I'll finish up with this trauma, and if Kerry asks for you, I'll say you went on your break " said Susan forcefully.

"Okay, Susan you're right as usual," laughed Carter, as he exited the trauma room.

Abby was still sitting on the bench outside of Cook County General, when Carter came out.

"I thought you quit smoking," said Carter, as he noticed the cigarette she was holding.

"I try to, but I always seem to start again," replied Abby, as she threw the cigarette on the ground.

"Abby, I need to talk to you,"  said Carter.

"Okay" said Abby quietly.

Susan watched from the lounge window, the conversation between Abby and Carter, and started to smile. I guess he did listen to me, she thought.

"Susan, we need you out here," said Luka.

"Okay, I'm coming," she replied.

"Susan, have you seen Abby anywhere?" asked Luka, as they were leaving the lounge.

"I think she's on her break," Susan answered.

"Oh," said Luka.

***

Abby and Carter walked to Doc Magoos in silence, unsure what to say to each other. Each one wanted to say something but decided against it.

Carter slid into the bench closest to them when they enter Doc Magoos. "Abby, come on and sit down."  Abby then took the seat across from Carter, and he took her hand. "Abby, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left your apartment in such a huff.  I was just upset."

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry," replied Abby. "I just didn't know what I would do if you ever left me.  You're my best friend, and I guess I thought it would be better if we stayed that way."  Abby then started to play nervously with her napkin.

"Abby, please just give us a chance, I love you and I would never hurt you," said Carter. 

Abby looked at Carter. "John, I just don't know," replied Abby, trying to avoid the stare that he was giving her. 

"Please…. you will not regret " said Carter with the look in his eyes that made Abby realized that just maybe he was right.

"Okay,"  said Abby as she lean over and kissed him.

"Excuse me, what can I get for you?" asked the waitress right in front of them. Abby and Carter looked up.  "Two coffees and a cherry pie."

"Got it," nodded the waitress as she put her pad back into her apron.

"Abby are you working tomorrow?" asked Carter.

"Yeah I have the early shift," said Abby.

"Well, how would you like to go on a date with me?" Carter asked sweetly.

"   I would love to" smiled Abby, as her pager in her pocket started to go off. Abby looked at Carter, and realized that just maybe everything would be okay. She took the pager out of her scrubs, and looked at it and saw that the ER needed her.

"The ER needs me," she told Carter.

"Okay," smiled Carter.  "I'll walk back with you." Carter as he kissed her again, then left a couple of bills for the waitress, who smiled back at them. 

"There is a great couple," whispered the waitress to her co-worker. Carter opened the door for Abby.

"Thanks" said Abby. As they were leaving Doc Magoos, Carter's pager started to go off as well. " I guess I have to walk back with you, " laughed Carter. Carter and Abby held hands while walking back.

TO BE CONTINUED

" 


	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6

**Lost                                          **

**Chapter 6**

The moon was shining in the midnight sky. There wasn't a noise except the chirping of the crickets nearby the hilltop, where Carter and the other car crashed. The man from the other car, escaped without any major injuries, and disappeared, as he didn't want to get caught as he was over the alcohol limit. 

Carter slowly started to wake up to find out that he was trapped inside his car. Carter used all the energy he had to unlock his seatbelt, but he couldn't as it was broken. Damn it, I need to get back to Abby, thought Carter.

Carter then tried to move but his back was hurting like hell, it was like the pain he felt after getting attacked, but he was stronger this time, and he could handle it without using drugs. Carter, then slowly started to go back into unconsciousness. The next time he woke up, he was on a gurney heading for the ambulance and the paramedics were asking Carter questions.

" Sir are you okay?" asked the paramedic on the scene.

" No…" said Carter who was starting to get really tired.

" Stay with us," said the paramedic 

" What's your name?" asked the paramedic 

" John…" said Carter before he falls asleep again.

" He has drifted asleep again, we need to get him to County General" said the paramedic.

***

Meanwhile at the County General,

Susan is at the admitting desk, when a call comes from the ambulance.

"County General" answered Susan

" We have a 30 year old male MVA victim. He is  coming in and out of conscious. He has some bruises and cuts," replied the paramedic

" Okay, we can take him, " said Susan.

Susan then went to the ambulance bay to wait for the paramedic to come, and on her way she ran into Kerry.

" Kerry, I might need your help with this MVA victim" said Susan

" Sure, " said Kerry as she followed Susan outside.

They weren't outside for more than a couple of minutes when the ambulance came.

" His name is John, " said the paramedic as he pulled the victim out of the van

" Okay, " said Susan

Susan and Kerry were both shocked when they saw who the patient was.

" John… " said Susan distressed. " How did this happen?" 

" We found him at a hilltop " replied the paramedic.

Susan tried not to get emotional but it was hard, as she just lost one of her best friends, she didn't want to lose another one. No, not John, thought Susan.

Susan and Kerry wheeled Carter into the ER.

" Jerry, what exam room is ready?" asked Susan as they entered the ER.

" Exam Room2, " said Jerry looking quite shocked.

" Is Carter going to be okay?" asked Jerry

" Of course he is." snapped Susan. Susan then wheeled Carter into Exam Room 2 with Kerry following a few steps behind.

" Is there anything we should know about Carter's condition?" asked Susan to the paramedic standing there.

" I don't know if this means anything, but when he was conscious, he kept on mumbling the name " Abby".

" Oh, okay," said Susan.

". On my count. 1...2...3!" On 3, Carter was quickly transferred and the paramedics quickly packed their gear and left. 

Susan looked at his injuries as she cut off his pants to make that were no damage to his legs and everything looked okay, but she still wanted to get a x-ray just in case. Susan did her best to do her job, but it was just getting too emotional for her, and then she thought of Abby. Oh no, thought Susan.

" Kerry, I can't do this," said Susan sadly.

" Okay,  I can finished up here ."said Kerry 

" Thanks" said Susan. " He needs a X Ray and cat scan.

" I know, " said Kerry. 

Susan then went to the Lounge so she could have some privacy when she called Abby.

" Hello… " said Abby softly.

" Hi Abby, this is Susan" 

" Oh, hi" said Abby who was wondering why Susan would be calling her at this hour.

" Abby… I hate to tell you this, but John has been in an accident.

Abby then dropped the phone.

" Abby… are you still there."

To be continued!!! 

Author's Note: I know this isn't a great chapter, but I promise you that the next chapter will be much better!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**"Lost"**

Abby picked up the phone. "Susan, you must have this wrong, it can't be John, I just talked to him not long ago." said Abby firmly.

" I'm really sorry Abby, but Carter is in the ER," said Susan softly.

" No, Susan…" cried Abby as she sat down on the couch.  Is John going to be okay?" asked Abby sorrowfully as she played nervously with her hair.

"Abby, he is unconscious, and he has a few cuts and bruises.

" Susan, I'm on my way, " said Abby, as she quickly got dressed.

" Okay, bye " said Susan. Kerry had just entered the room when Susan got off the phone.

" So Kerry what's wrong?" asked Susan.

" Well, we got the X Ray back and there does not seem to be any injuries there, but his MRI is what is puzzling me it shows no abnormality but that doesn't explain why Carter is still unconscious," said Kerry softly.

" I don't know," said Susan, but I think I need some fresh air".

***

Abby couldn't believe what Susan just said. How could Carter be injured? I knew that it was too good to be true that Carter and me could be a couple. But why John? Hasn't he been through enough already? Abby then saw that Susan was sitting outside of the hospital.

" Hi Susan," said Abby gently. Susan then looked up and saw Abby right in front of her

" Oh, Abby " said Susan quietly. Susan didn't know what to said to Abby. _Should I said that Carter is going to be fine or should I say what the doctor inside let me know, that if Carter doesn't wake soon, he might never wake up, thought Susan to herself._

" Susan, how is he?" asked Abby as she sat down next to Susan.

" Abby, he is still the same when I last talked to you, but I'm sure he will be fine" 

" I think I will go to see him now" said Abby as she starts to walk through the ER Bay doors. Abby then turned around.

" What room is he in?"

" Exam Room 2" said Susan. Abby then hurried so she could be with Carter.

Abby walked down the corridor until she found Carter's room. She opened the door and couldn't believe how pale he looked.

"John, you can't leave me not now that we finally got together." said Abby as she went and sat next to him on the bed.

" John, just wake up, I love you and I need you, I don't know why it took so long to tell you how I feel about you" said Abby as she cuddled up to Carter.

Susan then entered the room.

" Abby," said Susan tenderly. 

Abby then turned around.

" Oh hi " said Abby quietly wiping away the tears that were coming down her face. Abby then got down from the bed.

" Abby, you know that Carter loved you for a long time" said Susan.

" I know. "said Abby. " Susan, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to John" said Abby miserably.

"I know how you feel," said Susan tenderly.

" How would you know how I feel?" snapped Abby. 

" I don't know," said Susan as she left the room.

Abby then realized what she just said and knew that she needed to go talk with Susan, and straighten it out. Abby then went up to Carter, and kissed him on the forehead." I'll be back"

***  
Carter woke up, but he had no clue where he was. He knew that he definitely wasn't in Chicago. Carter then saw a woman coming towards him. " Abby" said Carter loudly. 

" No" said the woman comes forward from the darkness. Carter then recognized the voice.

" Lucy is that you?" asked Carter.

" Yes it is me Carter," said Lucy softly.    

" Where am I?" asked Carter confused.

" You are in a heaven-like place," said Lucy. Carter and Lucy then sat on the seat near them.

" Am I dead?" asked Carter sadly. Lucy then looked at Carter.

" No, you aren't dead," said Lucy.

" You are just here for some rest," said Lucy. Carter looked at Lucy, and she looked no different from when he last saw her. He then started to have flashes from when he was stabbed.

" Lucy, I'm sorry about," said Carter

" Dying" said Lucy

" Yeah," said Carter. " Maybe if I had listened to you when you told me about Paul, maybe you would still be alive"

Lucy then took Carter's hand." Carter, I don't blame you, there was nothing you could have done. I was just sorry that you had to suffer so much. I watched you go through your addiction, and I was so afraid that you were going to do something stupid. But when I saw Abby go in the trauma room where you were taking some drugs, I knew that you were going to be okay, as Abby was going to help you.

" Then why did this happen to me? " said Carter miserably.

" I don't know," said Lucy. "I have been watching you and Abby together, and you and Abby are meant to be together. She is your soul mate, just remember that" said Lucy. 

Lucy then started to disappear.

" How do I wake up" said Carter.

" Just think of Abby," said Lucy's voice.

***

Susan went up to the roof and took a deep breath. _Am I going to lose another friend? thought Susan._

"Susan," said Abby softly as she come towards Susan.

" Abby… what are you doing here?" asked Susan.

" I have come to say I'm sorry," You do know how I feel. You just lost your best friend to a brain tumor. So how long have you known John?" asked Abby.

" I have known him since the first day that he entered the County General as a med student. He was so clumsy, but at the same time he was still really good with the patients."

" Oh, really" said Abby" So John has always be good with patients"

" Yeah, he has" said Susan. Then her pager went off.

" Is it John?" asked Abby fearfully.

" No, it is just another patient," said Susan as she left the rooftop." Oh Abby, I'm always here to listen.

" Thanks, I think I will walk back with you, I want to go be with John."

" Okay"

Abby then went to Carter's room, and cuddled up next to him, and she then fall asleep next to Carter.

***

The next morning,

Abby couldn't sleep all night long; as she was worried that something was going to happen to Carter. " Abby" said Carter softly as she slowly woke up. Abby couldn't believe her eyes that Carter was awake.

" John, you are awake.," said Abby happily as she hugged him.

" You should know that I would never leave you," said Carter as he leaned over and kissed Abby.

Lucy looked as Abby and Carter kissing, and she knew that Carter was going to be alright now and then she disappeared.

"Abby, I love you" said Carter brightly.

" I know, you do. I love you too" said Abby dazzlingly" I have to go find Susan.

" John, please don't ever leave me okay, I love you much," said Abby as she hugged him again.

" That is a promise I can keep" grinned Carter.

Abby looked at Carter, as she went to find Susan, and she knew that everything was going to be okay now.

To be continued!


	8. Chapter 8

                               **   Chapter 8**

                                      "Lost" 

Susan was at the admitting desk when she saw Abby coming towards her with this big smile on her face. I guess that's a good sign, thought Susan.

" Susan, John is awake," said Abby brightly.

" Great, I'm coming," said Susan. Susan was so happy that Carter was finally  awake.

Susan and Abby then entered Carter's room.

" I see you finally decided to wake up," joked Susan.

" I couldn't leave Abby," said Carter, smiling right at Abby, Abby smiled back.

"I just need to check you out," said Susan. Carter then realizes that something was wrong, as he couldn't move his legs.

" Susan, something is wrong" said Carter distressed.

" What?" asked Susan.

" I can't feel my legs," said Carter terrified. 

Abby looked into Carter's eyes, and she could see that he was afraid, and she wasn't going to let him go through it alone. He helped her when she was scared, and she was going to help him through this. 

" John, you are going to be okay," said Abby as she held Carter's hand.

" I know," said Carter softly. But Carter knew better then that and he knew that there was a chance that he might never walk again.

" John, can you feel this," said Susan. " No" Susan then tried the other foot, and he couldn't feel that one either. Carter then looked at Abby, and he could see that she was afraid for him." Abby, I'm sure I'll be fine" said Carter softly trying to reassure her. 

" I know." said Abby. 

" Carter, I'm going to go look at your x-ray again" said Susan as she left the room.

" John, I'm just going to go get you something to eat… as I'm sure you don't want any hospital food," laughed Abby.

"Abby, please don't leave me" said Carter quietly. " John, I would never leave you" said Abby as she leaned over and kissed Carter. Carter was so afraid, but he didn't want Abby to know that.

Abby waited until Carter was asleep before she went to talk to Susan and found her shouting at Kerry.

" Kerry, I thought when you looked at John's x ray that you said that everything was okay, so how come he can feel his legs?" asked Susan angrily.

" I'm sorry Susan, the x- ray looked fine, I'm really sorry about Carter," said Kerry as she walked away.

" Susan," said Abby softly.   
  


" What!" snapped Susan. Susan then turned around and saw that it was Abby.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you," said Susan softly.

" That's fine." said Abby gently." I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a moment." 

" Sure, why don't we go to the lounge, " Susan suggested.

" Susan… is Carter going to be okay?" Abby blurt out as then started to walk to the lounge. Abby didn't realize fully what she just said.

" Abby, I wish I could tell you that Carter is going to be fine." But I can't, I think the best thing you can do for Carter is to be by his side." said Susan.

Susan's pager then went off. " I have to go now, but I'll come by and see Carter later.

" Yeah," said Abby as she made her way back to Carter's room.

***

" No!" screamed Carter as the car came at him at excess speed. Carter then woke up in a cold sweat, and realized that he was just having a bad nightmare, the same nightmare that he has been having ever since he woke up. Carter knew that he need something to make the nightmares go away.  I need to find Abby, thought Carter to himself. So he slowly crawled out of his bed, but he fell down on the ground as he forgot that his legs were not working properly. "Damn it" shouted Carter.

Abby was near Carter's room when she heard a noise coming from his room, and then she saw Carter was on the floor. " John, what happened?" Abby could see the sadness in his eyes. 

" I had this bad nightmare, and I tried  to get to you, but my damn legs wouldn't work, and my back is killing me. I'm so useless." said Carter Abby then went and held Carter in her arms.

" Do you think I would be with you, if you were useless," laughed Abby.

" Yeah I guess." laughed Carter.

" Seriously, I love you, and we will deal with this, " said Abby as she helped Carter back on the bed.

" Abby, what happen to the other driver?" asked Carter. Then everything went silent. "What is it?" asked Carter.

" Well the driver of the other car kind of disappeared after the accident.

" What?"

" The driver of the other car was drunk."

" Oh." said Carter as he went quiet. " Yeah, I know," said Abby. " John is there anything I can get you."

" Abby… just stay her with me, that is all I ever needed" said Carter softly. Abby then climbed into Carter's bed, and Abby and Carter slept right next to each other exactly where they are meant to be, together.

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

"Lost"

The next morning,

Susan was walking to see Carter, when she looked through the glass window and saw that Abby was sleeping right next to him_. Why did this have to happen to Carter when he just started dating Abby, thought Susan to herself._ Susan then went into Carter's room.

" Good Morning," said Susan softly. Carter then woke up, and saw Susan.

" Morning Susan, " said Carter softly. Carter then looked to his left and saw Abby resting on his chest. " How long has Abby been here?" asked Carter as he looked at Abby sleeping.

" I think she has been there all night," said Susan softly.  

" Oh really," smiled Carter."  

"Abby" said Carter softly. Abby then woke up. " Morning John, " smiled Abby. Abby then saw that Susan was standing in front of them. 

" Hi Susan," said Abby quietly. 

" How are you feeling this morning?" asked Susan. Carter looked up at Susan, " Okay".

" Well… Carter, I looked at your x-ray, and it looks like it is only temporary, but I guess only time will tell."

" Thanks Susan, I should be back at work in no time"

" Take your time. I better get back to work now, " said Susan.

" Okay," 

Susan then left the room.

Abby then turned to Carter." John…. really how are feeling today?" asked Abby softly.

" I'm doing great…" smiled Carter slightly. Abby knew Carter well enough to know that he was in a lot of pain, but just didn't want her to know because he didn't want her to worry about him But she was always going to worry about him.

" John Carter, don't lie to me," said Abby delicately." I know that you are in a lot of pain, just tell me, I'm here for you.

Carter looked up at his girlfriend, and he could see how much she cared about him.

" I'm fine, its just a little pain, actually the only pain I have is my back," said Carter softly." What can I do about that?

" I can get you something for the pain," said Abby tenderly.

" Abby, you know that I can't do that," said Carter firmly.

" I know that John, but you can take a children's Tylenol, I think that would be okay." said Abby softly not fully aware of what she just said.

" Abby you are the only thing I need to make the pain go away."

" Okay," smiled Abby. Abby couldn't believe that she just said to a recovering drug addict to take some drugs, why would Carter want any painkillers? " John, I should have known that you wouldn't want any drugs, how could I be so stupid?" said Abby.

" Abby, you aren't stupid, " said Carter as he held Abby tightly. " You were just concerned about me" said Carter softly as he lent over and kissed Abby.

" Excuse me, I think this patient needs some rest," said Jing Mei who had just entered the room.

Abby then turned around, and saw that Jing Mei was standing right in front of them.

" Oh hi" said Abby blushing. Abby then got up from the bed.

"I have to go to work, but I'll be back as soon as I can" said Abby gently.  Abby was just on her way out of the room when Carter stopped her.

" Abby… thanks for everything," smiled Carter." I really need it."

" No problem," smiled Abby as she left the room. 

" So you are really happy with Abby," said Jing Mei. Jing Mei saw the way that Carter looked when Abby left the room.

" Yes I am." said Carter. " I love Abby so much, she is the best thing in my life. She has been so wonderful during this whole ordeal.

" I'm really happy, you really deserves some happiness, " said Jing Mei softly." But how are you feeling?" 

Carter looked up at Jing Mei. He wished that people would stop asking him that, like he was going to be okay.

" I'm fine," said Carter instead.

"Well… I better get back to work now, you know how Kerry would be if I was late for my shift." laughed Jing Mei.

" Yeah, "laughed Carter.

***

A week later,

" I can't believe that you are finally going home, " smiled Abby. 

" Yeah I know." said Carter quietly. Abby then helped Carter get into the wheelchair.

" Come on. Let's go get you to discharge, " said Abby as she wheeled Carter to the admitting desk.

" Carter… it is great that you are finally leaving the ER, now someone else can have that room, " laughed Susan who was behind the admitting desk.

" Yeah, " smiled Carter slightly. Carter tried to put on a smile for everybody, but inside he didn't feel like smiling. He knew that he should have started to have some feeling in legs by now. 

Carter looked at Abby as she was talking to Susan. He couldn't believe that she has stuck through this with him. All Carter wanted to do was be by himself, but Abby wasn't going to let him do that.

"So John… how about we go to my place for dinner?"

" I don't know," sighed Carter. Abby looked at Carter and she could see that he was trying to distance himself from her, but there was no way that she was going to let him do that as he needed her more than he knew.

" Please John, you don't have to stay long…" said Abby softly.

" Well… " said Carter quietly.

" Just for a couple of hours that's all, " said Abby softly.

" Fine," said Carter.

" Great, " smiled Abby.

***  
  


Later that night,

" That was great, " smiled Carter. 

" I didn't think you could cook, " laughed Carter.

" Is it better than the hospital food, " said Abby.

" Yeah of course it is" said Carter.

Abby then remembered that she left the oven on.

" I'll be back, " said Abby softly as she went into the kitchen.

While Abby was in the kitchen, Carter started to get some feeling in his left leg, but he didn't think anything of it, but then he started to have feeling in his other leg as well. Carter then slowly stood up, and he realized that he could walk again.

When Abby returned, she couldn't believe her eyes as Carter was standing on his own with his wheelchair.

" John…" said Abby happily as she ran and gave him a hug.

To be continued!!!!

Author's Note: I just wanted to tell you that the next chapter is going to be the last of this fic. Are Carter and Abby going find happiness now? Read Chapter  10 to find out!  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I would like to thank you everybody that has reviewed this fic for me… especially Em (I love your reviews and for telling me if there was something you didn't like about the fic, but not sounding mean when you say it.. and I can't forget Melissa L (you know who you are) for editing the first few chapters of this fic and I can't forget my sister for editing the last few chapters (It meant a lot to me, you editing it for me) Well let's get on with the story!!!

**Chapter 10**

**" Lost"**

"John, how?" said Abby softly. 

" Well… when we left the ER, I started to get some feeling in both of my feet, but I didn't think anything of it, and I didn't want to give you any false hope." explained Carter. " But then, when you went into the kitchen, I tried to stand up, and that is when I realized that I had feeling back in my feet. I want to walk into the kitchen, no, not walk. run to you, but I think I like this better. You should have seen your face, when you walked into the living room it was priceless.

" Oh John, I can't believe this!" said Abby happily as she leant over and kissed Carter. Carter looked up at Abby." Abby, thanks for not giving up on me, when I didn't want anybodies sympathy. Carter was so happy that he had feeling in his legs again, that he didn't realize how much his leg hurt.

" Abby… do you mind if I sit down?" asked Carter softly. Abby looked up at Carter, in all this excitement, she forgot about how much pain Carter must be in.

" Of course not, " said Abby as she helped Carter onto the couch. Abby then sat down next to Carter." You are still in a lot of pain, aren't you?" said Abby as she took Carter's hand.

" Abby…I know that I'm going to be in a lot of pain for a while, but I have you with me which is different than last time." said Carter gently as he remembered the last time that he felt this much pain, but this time he wouldn't turn to drugs, but Abby.

"John, I'm always here for you, no matter if you want it or not," smiled Abby. Carter then put his arms around Abby. " I love you, Abby Lockhart, I couldn't believe that you would stick with me thorough this all, but would you have stayed with me if I was paralyzed?" asked Carter.

Abby looked at Carter. " John… I thought you knew me better than that. I love you no matter if you are paralyzed or not."

" I know that, " said Carter softly.  Abby then got up from the couch.  For so many months I felt like I was lost, and there was nothing anybody could do. I don't know if it started after Brian hit me or if it was before that.," said Abby. " I had nothing, just my beer, and that is when I knew that I needed to go to an AA meeting."

" Abby, I'm sorry that you thought that you had nothing, I was always your friend, but I guess after I started dating Susan, I kind of forgot about you, huh, " said Carter softly.

" John, I understand that you had a girlfriend, and you were my friend when I needed you, I never thanked you for coming over that night when I was scared. But after that night I knew that everything was going to be okay."

" And, then I got hurt." said Carter softly. Abby then went and sat back down with Carter.

" John, after your accident I realized something very important. I love you, and I don't ever want to lose you," said Abby delicately.

" You will never lose me, " said Carter as he hugged Abby. " I guess I will be going home now, " said Carter as he stood up, but his legs were still a little weak. " John, please just stay for a little bit longer.

" Sure," smiled Carter as he held Abby tightly.

***

A couple of weeks later,

Abby was working on a patient, when she saw Carter out of the corner of her eye. Abby finished with the patient, and then went to see Carter at the admitting desk where he was talking to Kerry.

" Okay, I will see you next week then, " said Kerry as she walked away.

" Excuse me, what do you mean you coming back to work?" said Abby softly. Carter turned around and saw his girlfriend right in front of him.

" Abby, it has been almost a month since I got out of the hospital, and I think I'm ready to go back to work " smiled Carter.

" But John, are you really sure that you are up to it?" asked Abby concerned.

" Abby… I went to get my checkup today, and I'm fine, stop worrying about me, " said Carter kindly.

" John… I'll always worry about you," smiled Abby.

Abby and Carter then  started to walk to the lounge.

" I have a break, if you want to go to Doc Magoos" said Abby.

" Sure, why not!" said Carter as he and Abby started walking to Doc Magoos.

" Oh Abby, just one thing"

" What?" said Abby as she turned around.

" I want to tell you that you are the best thing in my life, and I don't ever want that to change," said Carter softly.

" I don't want that to change either," said Abby as she kissed Carter, and for the first time in long time Abby finally felt like her life was working out for the better. Abby and Carter held hands as they walked into Dog Magoos, they were finally together and there was nothing that was going to change that!

THE END

Author's Note

I know this was a lame ending… especially the last sentence. I'm thinking about doing a sequel. If you want to me to send you an email when the sequel is upload, please say so in your review.


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